Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
this boner is exhausting
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
