So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
