Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
