Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
