I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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