I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Can I color on your dick again?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize