watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
