I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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