im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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