You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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