I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
