Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
