your room smells of hookers.
And success
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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