Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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