i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
