She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
