I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
