Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
