If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
