At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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