Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
