Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
No more Irish car bombs ever.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize