Too much gin, very little bucket
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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