Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
