It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
handjob tips. give me some.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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