I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize