Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
