And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
