I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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