'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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