I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
