Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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