This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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