My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize
