Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
