nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
