No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
