guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
