If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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