so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
