if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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