I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
