If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
