Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I am mentally ready for anal.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
