My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
