Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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