yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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