I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
