Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
