the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize