....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
