So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
