alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
