This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I need to align my fucking chakras
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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