im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
