i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
